I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
