who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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