What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
