I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
