He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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