Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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