He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
