to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
