I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
did you just send me my own nude
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
