sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
