8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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