Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
