I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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