We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
