so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he shaved USA in his pubs
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
