Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just cut my nipple shaving
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
