I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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