Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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