did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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