Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
