I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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