No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
