Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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