I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
