he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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