Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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