How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
