If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
what day is it and did you see me today?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
