He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She announced her abortion via fbk
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
