i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
