dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
