I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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