You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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