If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
