I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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