I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
worst night to have a conscience
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
