just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
