it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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