I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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