i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
