I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
