what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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