I'm so fucking centered right now
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
