Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
