you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
