I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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