...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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