I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize