you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
