i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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