Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
