you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
