I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
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College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
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I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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