I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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