i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
