She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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