so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
