I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize