I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Randomize
