She's JV to your varsity
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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