I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
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