im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We left the knife in your bed.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
