i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
